Dealing with Stage Fright
by Oliver Carlos
I observe that many kids, teens, and even adults have stage fright. Most of the time, this simple fear overflows beyond the stage, and seeps into practical things in their lives, like in decision-making or risk-taking. I’m not an expert psychologist, but I have my own personal experience to share which I think helped me a lot in this area.
I think stage fright begins in childhood. It develops in a child after a catastrophic public performance. A child would not have the courage to stand up in public again once he realizes the gravity of his meltdown. Thus, we must not give stage fright a chance to develop. Here’s how I figured this out:
When I was in Grade 2, one Monday morning, during the school flag ceremony, our homeroom adviser tapped me on the shoulder and told me to lead the singing of the national anthem. Being a very obedient pupil, I walked up to the front, near the flagpole, in the midst of all the pupils from Grade 1 to Grade 6. I had an idea what I ought to do because I have observed the other kids do this stuff in the flag ceremonies in the previous weeks.
Then I began singing, “Bayang magiliw, Perlas ng Silanganan….” Good thing I memorized that song since Grade 1. While I was singing, I also made movements with my arms, although aimlessly or without pattern. I just did my best to imitate the bigger kids when they did this thing in the previous Monday mornings.
After the flag ceremony, we students went back to our respective classrooms. As we were walking, I heard some big kids whisper among themselves as I pass by them, “Parang ibon kumanta yung bata,” (That kids sings like a bird). Later, I figured out that what they meant was that my voice was so inaudible. I also overheard another teacher tell our adviser, “Bakit ganun magbeat yung estudiyante mo?” (Why does your pupil beat like so?). Then my teacher told her colleague, “Wala pa sila sa lesson na yun,” (That lesson on conducting music isn’t taught to them yet). In fairness, I didn’t get any scolding from my teacher. All I got was silence. I believe that’s better than getting a rub down.
Looking back, that horrible experience would have easily caused any kid to hide deeper in his shell. That’s a self-confidence crusher. But despite this monstrous melt-down, God gave me the grace to bounce back. I still grew up to be a public speaker and a teacher. Here is the take-away that could help you deal with your kids or students who have stage fright for a roadblock:
If a child fails in a public performance, don’t give him a double black eye by emphasizing the grave thing that just happened. Never blame the child. Don’t say, “You blew it!” or “Why did you screw up?” Try not to instill a spirit of shame, but rather encourage the child by focusing on the little good things he can be proud of. Pointing out what went wrong is good as it can improve him, but save that for later, don’t discuss it at the heat of the moment, or right after the performance. Positive motivation and negative motivation both works well, but the former is always better than the latter.
Again, this tip is not a fire-proof principle, but this worked in my case. I’m just sharing it and it’s up to you if you would apply it. The bottom line that we all wanted to achieve is for our children to NOT STOP in their growth curve. Setbacks come and go, and each child of God must rise up and continue on with the process. We must not be instruments that would prevent an individual to shine for his Creator. God has given each and every one of us talents and abilities that he intended for us to use for his glory. This is our “light” that God wanted us to radiate in the world around us. But some people would just stop doing something because of some discouragement he got from others. So contrary to this, let us serve as pillars in propping up others so they can shine forth their light.
“Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead, they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may…glorify your Father in heaven.” (Matthew 5:15–16, NIV)
