A Soldier’s Heart
by Oliver Carlos
The staple question in children’s pageants is “What do you want to be when you grow up?”. This is asked in both boys’ and girls’ contests. I have never been in one, but if I did, my quick answer would be, “I wanted to be a soldier”.
Before I dreamed of becoming a PBA player, or teacher, or writer, my ambition was to be a soldier. I don’t think my parents nor my siblings know this as I’m not very vocal about it, but it showed in my actions when I was a little boy, and sometimes now too that I’m already a big boy.
When I was around 4 or 5 years old, my parents would bring me to my grandparents’ coconut house in Forestry, UPLB where my cousins Ernie and Eric resided. They were brothers who are about my age. They had a huge box full of toys and we would play all day with what’s in it. I didn’t get interested in any toy in the box except for the soldier’s helmet. That’s the one I would always pick up first from the toy box.
Years later, my Mom bought me my own toys and I also had my own toy box. The items I treasured the most were the little toy soldiers. They were like today’s action figures, except that they were only 2-inches tall and their arms and legs were immovable. They had a flat surface for a stand where one or both legs are permanently attached. I love plotting them out on an imaginary battlefield and move them across it as if I’m their commanding general.
In elementary school, the board game I liked best was the Game of the Generals. It’s a pity I don’t see that game anymore these days. I also enjoyed chess because it also involves military strategies.
But things went on a U-turn when I was in high school, when I joined my first formal military training, the COCC. I was in 2nd year and I guess I was too young for it, as it’s normally taken by 3rd year students. I wasn’t prepared physically, and most importantly, mentally. I had a hard time coping with the rigors of the military discipline and culture, and besides, basketball was fast becoming my greatest love during those days. The COCC literally took me away from basketball.
When I was in the COCC, we were trained to be military-minded 24/7. We had to behave like soldiers everywhere, even in the classroom and even during recess time. We had to keep our back straight, walk rigidly, and be snappy in our every move. I really missed being with my friends and do the normal things that normal sophomore boys do, like playing basketball and just goofing around.
Recently, I came across a Bible verse about this high school experience of mine. It made me appreciate the military training I went through years ago, and the Christian life I’m living right now. In I Timothy 2:4 (NLT), Paul compared the Christian life with military discipline. We wrote:
“Soldiers don’t get tied up in the affairs of civilian life, for then they cannot please the officer who enlisted them.”
If you committed to be a Christian, you committed your whole life to Jesus, not just a compartment of it. You cannot go back to your old sinful ways, remember that you have repented from them. God is now your commanding officer whom you are taking orders from.
It may sound that Christian life is difficult and not enjoyable, but in reality, it is so fun and nothing compares to it! If one doesn’t have a soldier’s heart, he will really think that God is a cosmic kill-joy. But those who have really been transformed by the grace of God, knew fully well that the new life they traded for, is truly worth it.
Don’t be afraid of the new life in Christ that God is inviting you to walk into. I assure you that belonging to Jesus is the greatest joy one can ever have. Ask him to change your heart into a soldier’s heart, a heart that seeks to please his Commander and is always ready to do his will.
